|How do I deal?
||[Sep. 25th, 2006|09:48 pm]
Face the Fear and Do It Anyway
When I get scared, I react with humour. It's pretty safe to say that if we're having a serious discussion, or the topic gets too "heavy" for me, I'll crack a joke. In fact, if I'm really scared about the situation, I'll change the topic or distract from it so I don't have to talk any more.
I've dropped out of college 4 times. Maybe because I'm afraid of success, but more likely because I'm afraid to BE THERE.
But I'm still back at college. The difference is, THIS time *I* know I'm afraid to be there, my CLASSMATES know I'm afraid to be there, and they're helping me be there anyway.
There's more... lots more... like when I'm really scared I "switch." I'm DID (dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple-personality disorder.) Depending on the situation, I'll switch to the little girl, or the tough bitch. But ME, I'm off hiding in a corner in my brain. It makes it REALLY hard to get further in life when you have a 4-year-old "driving" your brain.