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Face the Fear and Do It Anyway

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How do I deal? [Sep. 25th, 2006|09:48 pm]
Face the Fear and Do It Anyway

facethefear

[carolep]
[mood |determined]

When I get scared, I react with humour. It's pretty safe to say that if we're having a serious discussion, or the topic gets too "heavy" for me, I'll crack a joke. In fact, if I'm really scared about the situation, I'll change the topic or distract from it so I don't have to talk any more.

I've dropped out of college 4 times. Maybe because I'm afraid of success, but more likely because I'm afraid to BE THERE.

But I'm still back at college. The difference is, THIS time *I* know I'm afraid to be there, my CLASSMATES know I'm afraid to be there, and they're helping me be there anyway.

There's more... lots more... like when I'm really scared I "switch." I'm DID (dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple-personality disorder.) Depending on the situation, I'll switch to the little girl, or the tough bitch. But ME, I'm off hiding in a corner in my brain. It makes it REALLY hard to get further in life when you have a 4-year-old "driving" your brain.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: vinik
2006-09-26 11:55 am (UTC)
We're Multiple too, and years ago we used to have a lot of the same experiences (unwanted switching and such). Believe me, things can get a lot better. :)

As for college, congrats to you for going back and having support this time around. I'm hoping someday to go back too. We dropped out twice 7 years ago and haven't been back since.

-Jen
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[User Picture]From: locus_ofcontrol
2006-09-26 11:23 pm (UTC)
I can relate to using humour to accomodate an uncomfortable situation. I have been known to do the same thing.
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